Whopper, Smile, and Breakfast

Whopper, Smile, and Breakfast
Early in my Principal days

One morning during the rush to class, I was monitoring the movement of students. Coming toward me were three football boys that I had coached the year before. The two on the outside were looking at the young cowboy in the middle with the, ‘I just can’t wait to see what happens’ expressions on their faces. The shirt came into view, an wide arrow starting at the chest pointing down to the crotch, all in Burger King colors. Across the arrow in black were the words,”Home of the Whopper”.
“What’s this,” I said with a smirk.
“Just advertising coach, just advertising”
Less than a month later I was patrolling those same crowded halls, it seemed that everyone was late to class. Six or seven steps after passing some sophomore girls, something clicked. ” D—–, come here!”. This girl was a natural beauty, but the gleam in her eye was driving her parents and me crazy. She had no filter in what she said or what she did.
With her chest puffed out and a wide smile, D—— modeled her black T-shirt. There in big white letters were written, “You would smile too if you just got laid”
“D—–, what are you thinking?”. In a sweet little coy expression, she was telling me the ball was in my court.
“Get it turned inside out and get to class.” That seemed simple enough. Then “Not here D—– ! , in the restroom!”
Weeks later, in a time where a bare midriff was against the school dress policy, D——- was sent to the office wearing hip hugger jeans and a short, tight T-shirt. The gap exposing her abdomen was so obvious that for a minute I didn’t didn’t notice her shirt. There where one would surmise That D——-‘s chest lay were two large colorful printed fried eggs marking the locations.
” D——–, What’s this?”
” Breakfast?”